Talk out teen sex – with compassion, not by the rule of thumb

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Gone are the days when the average middle class Indian kid was prohibited ‘sex’ till marriage. The modern day Indian teen is way smarter than what I or the others who share my age group was even remotely back in the day. My friends and I, formally gathered some knowledge on intercourse, at the age of 15, during our biology class. And to be honest, we will recall that our teacher, too shy for the subject, didn’t do much justice to the topic. Though, the syllabus in Indian education system, remains more or less static, the wide exposure to the world at large through the internet has made the teen today far more conscious of facts. Their knowledge on the topic is beyond the limited paragraphs of the biology books. And so is Young India’s growing enticement towards experimenting with sex. Like it or leave it – but denial isn’t going to help.

Frankly there isn’t much that parents can do to curb it. If you in your mid-forties do not comply with your teenage daughter losing her virginity, totally understood. But forcing her not to do something can only ruin your relationship with your daughter. You can only try and influence their character, but not shape their individuality. Teen years are run by revolting emotions, the more you suppress them, the harder will they try and take things in their stride. Moral policing won’t work – and what is this moral policing by the way? However, looking at the alarming increase in the number of teens involving in sexual activities, it is only natural for families to panic.

The best thing you can do is rip off the invisible curtain of coyness. It’s about time you address the elephant in the room. Sit with your child – indulge in a candid conversation, something that most of our parents didn’t participate in. The only way you can bond with the rebel teen is by winning over their confidence and assuring your appreciation of their judgement. If you reserve your notions towards teen sex or pre-marital sex share your thoughts with her. If you feel your ‘tradition’ demands your child to follow a certain way of life, open up. Guide her through the consequences, but certainly not by claiming an upper hand on her. Because in this era of globalism the mindset of the new generation has been influenced by multiple cultural norms across boundaries. Forsaking sex just for the sake of ‘tradition’ will not sell. A lot of you might opine that getting sexually active at a tender age, without getting a hold onto emotion might be just showing disregard towards one’s body. Apparently – No. This theory doesn’t hold any truth in today’s dynamic life.

Parents may show the importance of losing their virginity to the right person or in the right relationship to their child. Explain them the different between ‘casual sex’ and ‘making love’. Yes, Indian youth is still governed by romanticism. So instead of asking your child to wait till ‘marriage’ you could rather convince them to wait for the right person. This idea will penetrate in the young mind much easily and hold them on till they reach a mature age to decide what is right for them.

The vital part of your discussion with your teenage child must comprise some good insight in the concept of safe sex. You need to awaken them to the dangers of unsafe sex that could vary from risks of STDs or unexpected pregnancy. Don’t forget to mention to your daughter that the tender teen body is not only unprepared for pregnancy but at times so weak that even an abortion could lead to alarming situation, in a lot of cases – fatal situations. Also educate them on the sharp increase of immature sex tapes in the porn market and where they come from. The last thing any boy or girl would want is to see themselves stripped during their personal moments trending through the internet.

With all your endeavors to keep your children away from sex during their growing years, you have to prepare yourself too, in case they wish to choose otherwise. It is only equivalent to dwelling in fool’s paradise if you want to live under the impression that your child will abide by your directions or emulate your lifestyle. The phrase ‘Generation Gap’ exists for a reason after all. Having provided them all the required information, you will require to leave it up to them, the way they want to lead their lives. Again, it is not a question of morality anymore. It is of course a personal choice. Accept it, respect it, bond well with that child of yours – virgin or not-virgin.

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